(Photo courtesy of Fill Their Arms)
April Fool’s has come and gone yet again this year, leaving me with the taunting question are you the fool or am I?
Statistically you do not have to compare or research to notice the obvious that making a pregnancy announcement as joke is the number one joke we all come across. You have either been the joker or the victim that has fallen into the trap. I myself, have been guilty of being both the joker and victim. Announcing a fake pregnancy is something I used to find as an easy sense of humor that many would fall for. Of course, after numerous times of doing it the joke got old and was not nearly funny. I lost the humor after about six years of Infertility. Suddenly pregnancy was something I took seriously and had sensitivity towards.
The mere thought of facing this joke this year was agonizing. I was not quite sure how I would cope. Would it be something I might take light to and have a good laugh? Or would it be something that felt like a wound being torn apart once again? Fortunately I have been very open about my struggles with Infertility, shared the photos of reconsidering using the joke and expressed my feelings towards it on my social media sites. Though no comments were left about any kind of opinion I had seen no joke except for one pertaining to pregnancy. Maybe there was a new trend this year or just maybe I reached at least one person who took my thoughts into consideration. Whatever the case may be I was very grateful I did not have to deal with it at all. At least that is what I had though.
Then doing my nightly updates and searching on my social media sites I came across another post with a picture. It was one pertaining to thinking twice about posting fake pregnancies. I must include this was posted on a Infertility support page. My eyes were filled with shock!! There were multiple negative comments about those who suffer from Infertility and not knowing how to handle a joke. Infertile women were criticized for being overly sensitive and not knowing how to handle a joke. It was obvious that these people had never experienced Infertility or supported someone who had.
In a way I felt sorry for them to know something is to have full understanding of the subject. Clearly none of them had understanding. Then again maybe I did not understand them. At one point in my life I was that person who could share a joke about pregnancy, laugh my heart out and forget about it. Now I am that person who cries because people consider pregnancy a joke. I understand that anyone has a right to display whatever joke they would like but the consideration prior to posting is the one thing I wish for. I could choose to shelter myself from negative comments and a lack of support. However, I choose not to because the honest truth is that the people that have no place in my life may never truly understand or have compassion. If I can reach at least person to find understanding and compassion than that means I am one step closer to making those realize that sometimes a joke just is not a joke.
You realize a joke is not a joke when you go through at least three rounds of IVF, a loss of a child, eight years of Infertility and/or empty arms that are never filled. Pregnancy is a gift that a woman is given, to carry a human being inside of your womb. To feel your unborn child grow inside of you and to love someone like no one else you have never loved before them. That is the beautiful bliss of pregnancy. You may think I am a fool for being sensitive when there is a joke about being pregnant but then again I think you might be a fool for thinking of a life growing inside of you is a joke.